That night when I picked up the phone to talk to my mom, she could sense it from the tone of my voice that something was wrong with me. I couldn’t tell her anything about Rhea as I had never spoken to mom about her or about any girl for that matter of fact. But I had to let it all out. I needed someone to listen to it. Someone to read about it. A shoulder to rest my head upon, for the one I used to ret my shoulder upon was taken away from me. So I wrote it all down in a letter that night and it wasn’t easy.
I know I haven’t shared anything about my personal life with you. But today I want you to know. I know for the past many years when we stayed together and when Dad was in Africa, we used to share a lot of things. In fact you used to know me inside out. You were my best friend. I still love and respect you like no one else, but that friendship was somewhere lost in the years of my growing up and me staying away from you. This is not an effort to re-establish that friendship but to tell you what I am going through because you I know are still my best friend.
When I came to work here in Hyderabad, I met a girl named Rhea. Rhea was smart and from a small town in Kerela. She was petite, dusky and big eyed, the way I used to describe my dream girl would be. She had thick long straight hair which added up to her entire persona. One of my friends introduced us to each other, but the shy me did never have the guts to go ahead and talk to her. I found her beautiful, extremely beautiful and smart, just the way I would want my girl to be.
One day she pinged me saying if I could make her understand a particular technical concept. And although I wasn’t good myself in that concept, I made no second thoughts to say that I was a master in it and that I will meet her and help her. And hence started a week long preparation to master that concept just get a chance to meet her. And then one night as decided I went out to teach her. We decided to meet at a place and take a walk while I explain the concept. Within moments of talking to her I knew that this girl was someone I wanted to be with. And I saw that she herself was not interested in the concept anymore. We started talking. And mom for the very first time in my life I was in love. We kept talking day and night for a few days and within no time our friendship developed into love. I was elated and exhilarated. My friends could sense that new spark in my eyes. And that day when she asked me as to what to tell her friends about our status (whether its Committed or Friends) my happiness knew no bounds. Life seemed the most beautiful thing ever.
After loving her and being with her I became a man I had never imagined myself to be. You remember how inactive I used to be/I am at home. I don’t even go to fetch water and here I was walking every night with this girl to talk to her and hold her hands and I dint feel an inch of laziness. My blood was hot. It was good. I was completely in love with her. We spent so much time with each other that slowly we became inseparable. It was wonderful, sweet and lovely. We in fact decided the names of our kids too.
But in the last few months things have not kept well. We have fought like crazy, I have been down. The once charming and jovial me had changed to a sad and gloomy man. I was not getting time to do my chores. We fought almost every day. And this was not because we did not love each other or did not want to be with each other, but because we were too short tempered and egotistic. I always used to make up for the fights earlier by resigning. But lately I was so disturbed that I stopped taking efforts. Rhea too was breaking. And she decided to call this relation off last night.
Thus a beautiful love story which was my best lover’s story, a story which I took pride in telling my friends came to an end. I don’t know who is to blame but it was none of us, at least I would like to think so. If I wanted to, she wouldn’t separate from me. But then I remembered your words that it’s not necessary to be with a person to love that person. Love is eternal and it can exist even when two people have only seen or met or talked to each other just once. I know I never used to believe in all this, but although I am sad tonight I feel good for I know that love is in giving and not in taking. Thanks for being my best friend and giving me all those learnings which help me in being who I am. I know that if today I am strong that’s not because of the man I am, but because of what you’ve made me.
And then as you always ask me to do when I’m sad I got up, took a hot bath, rejuvenated my hair with Sunsilk shampoo and went off to sleep. I got a good night’s sleep. And let go because that was the best thing to do.
I love you for the support you have been to me. And welcome to this part of my life which I had always hidden from you. You do not know how much it means to me to talk to you about everything in my life, but something out of respect or fear I can’t. I still am a little low but this will heal and I will be fine again and you will hear the same happy voice you used to once, for your son is a strong man. Thanks for the Rejuvenating the hair therapy to let go off things in life. It helps.
p.s. This post has been written for the Indiblogger, Recharge your hair, Recharge your life contest in association with Sunsilk.